I am sure you have heard of the term, ‘A Slippery Slope’? It refers to the notion that if we allow one small premise to pass, then there is a chance that it will lead to bigger (unintended) consequences. It’s often cited as a fallacy because, very often, the small assent we allow and the larger incident that occurs later often have no logical connection. It’s when somebody says, “If our child sees us chopping tomatoes as a tot, then their chances of becoming a knife-wielding sociopath later in life become significantly higher.” Simply put, you start with a small seemingly inconsequential decision and next thing you know, you have precipitated the apocalypse. Okay, that wasn’t exactly simply put.
But you get the idea, it is precaution taken to an unreasonably high level and too early on, when the idea of a threat didn’t even exist. Well, I am here to burden you with the idea that starting a watch collection will often be compared to a slippery slope. One day you are buying a watch to tell time, look good at your job, or maybe to mark a special moment and then there you are, taking out a second mortgage to put the up-front deposit on a limited-edition tourbillon.
What Constitutes a “Collection”
I remember, back in school, I had a friend who insisted that the word, ‘few’, meant three of anything. It was quite annoying. He simply refused to allow any other measure to pass. We agreed it couldn’t be a couple, obviously, but why not four, or even five. And didn’t the notion of few changes depending on what was being talked about – a few grains of sand could easily number in hundreds while a few bottles would never be more than what you can carry in one hand. Well, the world gets even more complicated when we start unfolding the term, ‘collection’. Sure, it’s a ‘few’ watches, someone may quip, but therein lies the problem; using two very ambiguous metrics in an almost circular definition. The dictionary defines a collection as a grouping of things or people, with no preset number. The only thing we would want to be sure of is that it means more than one, although, in watches, someone will certainly argue that acquiring a grail can be one way of creating your one-watch collection.
Watch Collections
Rather than waste time arguing about how many is too many (or, not enough) let’s instead work our way toward building a collection (or collections) which will help define us better without leading to any domestic disturbances. So, one can go for a 3-, 5-, or, if we push a bit, a 7-, watch collection. Any more and you risk, I fear, invoking some pre-nup clause.
Three, Not a Crowd
This makes for a modest yet comprehensive collection – neither extravagant nor frivolous. The 3-watch collector is one who doesn’t want to be tagged a ‘collector’. These are people who are rational to the point of being stoic, justifying every purchase, the kind who will judge you for having only one or even five watches. And if you happen to have three watches too, then they will tut-tut you for having the wrong ones.
So, what are the three watches you need for the collection?
- Well, first, you’d need a GADA (Go Anywhere, Do Anything) everyday watch aka the beater, the robust one, usually in steel, on a metal bracelet, again steel, and with a movement that you never have to second guess.
- Then you’d need a dressy evening watch.
- Finally, you can add a sporty one to round it off. It could be quite similar to the GADA. So, maybe adding a complication can help: dual time/GMT (which has some use), a diver or a chronograph (both of which are, frankly, quite useless). Else, it can be a special one with all the bells and whistles – a grand complication, a commemorative piece, a limited edition one, or maybe one with precious metal/stones. This is the 30% that gets used only 10% of the times, and may cost 100% more than the other two combined.
With this set of three, you can take on the world – workhorse for the day, a show pony for evenings, and a unicorn for the weekends and special occasions.
The Power of Five
No matter how good your 3-watch game, the slippery slope is a good metaphor to recall because, once you have started that slalom, it’s only about how far you can keep going without falling.
Remember that it takes little to get someone to expand from three to five. A small nudge from a friend, a windfall gain, or maybe a call from the AD for that long-coveted piece, the right impetus builds momentum. As for the explanation – well, 5 isn’t that far from 3, numerically speaking. The GADA needs a break from all the desk jockeying life and just one dress watch is too austere, even for a stoic; one black and one brown, both acceptable evening-shade families and as different as the Capulets and the Montagues. Or maybe your thirst for adventure doesn’t quench with just one diver so you need a field watch or a pilot piece. And before you know it, you have upgraded to 5. You still consider yourself a 3-watch collector – as the two new ones will largely fit into one of the existing categories – but one who lets their collection reflect their personality better.
Lucky Seven
Someone with seven watches has a problem of excess – deep pockets, deeper obsessions. Beware their wrath as much as their affection; they take both seriously. They are beyond the point of pretending to be 3- and 5- watch collectors. In fact, they’d happily upgrade to a 15-watcher but (A) the AD keeps them waiting or (B) the watch-winder can only mount 5 (C) seven sounds auspicious.
This is what is called the Holy Grail territory – a watch here is needed to tell time like a stick is needed to reinforce a castle. So bring on the complications and exclusivity and upgrade even that GADA. A dressy-sporty vintage, ceramic and rubber, meteor shells, fairy dust and/or goblin spittle – don’t judge them for what turns them on. Simply the emotion of owning it outweighs all social regard.
Common Denominators
For all three echelons of collecting, a few factors can influence the decision. These can also be reasons why someone ends up upgrading to the next level.
Lifestyle considerations
The kind of wear and tear your wristpiece will see is one big reason to consider when planning your set. Just like with leather shoes, it’s never advisable to have only one; always better to have a few in rotation, depending on where they are worn most. The same with watches – no point having dainty designs and delicate movements if you mostly oscillate between operating heavy machinery and playing rugby. To put it in Gen-alpha terms, “What cooks for a surgeon may not necessarily be as bussin’ for a skateboarder.”
Brand-mix
One way to get the glares is to buy two watches from the same brand before you have ticked at least a few universal brand choices. Getting one of each feels like dividing the cake equally and tidily. Getting three from the same brand gives obsessive and compulsive with a telling lack of imagination. Not much unlike me here and my attempts at Alpha-speak. (Will desist now.)
Must-have styles
One aspect which will get you graded high or low within your selection grouping is the styles you hanker after. The classic shapes and forms will always garner more points with the old-timers. To them a watch collection that only has precious flourish pieces or broad design-forwards declarations feels like a tell-tale sign of the nouveau riche. Conversely, the more adventurous will consider you jaded for only going after the ‘usual suspects’. In short, you really can’t win. The best advice here is to vie for styles that (a) suit your lifestyle and personality (b) don’t field too close to conservative nor are too edgy and (c) will be liked and appreciated by others (by mostly by you) even after years of wear. That last one, for me, really locks in the shoot-or-skip decision.
To Collect or To Covet
I think the best stance to take on the idea of how many and for how much really depends on how much ductility your wallet allows you. Acquiring a new watch shouldn’t put the rest of your life on hold. If that is the case, then you are better off not getting it and waiting a bit longer. Just two caveats before we part: (A) you can stop at an even number too, just because you got a 4th piece doesn’t mean you now much acquire a 5th to ‘round it off’. And (B) no matter how strongly you present your case, an Apple watch will never count as a part of your collection. If anything, it should subtract you from the nomenclature altogether.
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